Monkey spheres - social media and the life of a sedentary nomad

Back in June 2007, I stumbled across a website about monkey spheres. The original website is now gone, but the article has been ported over to the wonder that is Cracked.com  Take a moment and go have a read here: http://www.cracked.com/article_14990_what-monkeysphere.html  This is really a reintepretation of the Dunbar's Number concept.

I've been active in the computer world ever since the 5th grade when I found out that technology had solved the problem of getting all the words to fit nicely on each line as I type (word wrap). Since those formative years in elementary school I, along with so many others in my generation, have evolved along with the rest of the world into a digital existence. When social media came around in the early to mid naughts I was reluctant at first, but haven't turned back.

Today it is easier to connect with people than ever before.  I actually miss the days where you got bored, walked up the street and knocked on my friend's door to see if they could come out to play.  I wonder what my friends would do now if I came over without texting or calling first. The ease of connection means that my "lists" of friends also grows, many times without any further interactions than the silent stalking that happens on social media.

So in terms of monkey spheres, social media clearly entails different levels of interactions. I think that point of the article is quite clear. I occasionally go through and cull my lists, because my digital monkey sphere begins to feel a bit too crowded. However, there's something in this process that begins to feel like a good bye - which relates to another aspect of monkey spheres that I don't think was as well developed.

While a monkey sphere may have its limits in terms of the number of members it may have, not all of us have only one monkey sphere.  I've lived in several places, and I find that I now have multiple monkey spheres tied to those places, and to the different groups I was a part of while living there. While I try to port the more important people into my social media monkey sphere in hopes of keeping the real life relationship alive, at some point that monkey sphere gets too crowded and culled. I guess the sense of good bye is because if a person can't migrate into the "active" monkey sphere they become archived to memories.

This is all part of life I suppose. Possession may be 9 / 10's of the law, but proximity - even in a digital world - is also 9 / 10's of a relationship. I have many great friends that I still keep in touch with, but the older I get the more monkey spheres I make. At some point there is a limit.

I found myself thinking about all of this recently when trying to sort through the instant messenger applications I use.  So many entries that have failed to sign on for years.  I wonder if the program is broken, or if the monkey sphere has downsized. I appreciate social media for allowing the sliver of connection to exist, but even with all good intentions eventually those unmaintained connections are doomed to fade away.

Who knows who will read this post, though I imagine the only ones with any interest will be my friends. This wasn't intended to be a melancholy examination of friendships and relationships, but more a explanation of reality for a person who moves around. I'm so glad for all the different experiences I've been able to enjoy in my life. I just wish that my monkey spheres weren't so stuck in time and place.